Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Allowed lists (comedy script)

I was talking to my wife* yesterday about allowed lists. You know- the lists of celebrities you're allowed to sleep with, should the chance occur, without any question. For a lot men, it's easy: their Allowed List is a Girls Aloud list. I'm a bit more sophisticated than that. I haven't really given it much thought, but my list would be: Kate Bush, then maybe Katherine Heigl, in fact any of the women off Grey's Anatomy, or better, all of the women off Grey's Anatomy ... sorry, just drifted off there. Anyway, the point is, it doesn't matter who's on my list, because it's not going to happen. It's not worth even thinking about. No, it isn't.

But all people, it seems, have these lists. And celebrities are people too, in a way. You can imagine Guy Ritchie asking Madonna one day who's on her list, and she says "Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Chris Martin". Next awards ceremony she goes to, she has the night of her life.

* My pretend wife, that is. My real wife has ticked the 'no publicity' box.

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